3 Methods To Validate Your Partner During Stressful Times6 min read
To validate your partner is such a beautiful thing. It has the healing touch, and the power to calm concerns and fears, add to the joy and excitement, resolve conflicts quicker, and make people much more open to conversation.
When it comes to a relationship, actively hearing and paying attention to your partner is just as important as talking and expressing your feelings. When your partner is feeling down or going through stressful times, it’s your responsibility to be there for them.
What exactly is “being there for them?” Sitting by their side, hearing what they have to say, and then providing an apathetic response might fit the bill if it’s considered as the literal meaning of being there for someone. Still, the true meaning of to validate is to make your partner that they’re being heard, understood, and cared for.
How to Actually Hear When Your Partner is Speaking
Like we just mentioned, hearing them is one thing, but to validate and understand them with your undivided attention is something else. The best and to achieve a mutual form of love is to validate – which relies majorly on caring about what your partner thinks and feels.
I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships is a charmingly straightforward piece of work that hits the nail straight where it ought to be. Author Michael Sorenson uses relatable stories to illustrate the amazing benefits of communicating properly as well as easy, effective steps to create a practical approach that you can use in your daily interactions with your partner, family, and friends.
The act of listening is so simple, yet so many people can’t do it properly. Giving your partner the desired validation they crave will bring about revolutionary changes to your relationship. The book is written in terms to help everyone learn the proper techniques to navigate around difficult and complex conversations while opening up doors for a deeper, more meaningful discussion.
When they’re sharing their happiness with you, feel elated because they love you enough to include you at that moment. To validate with a reassuring smile when they’re feeling lost, an acknowledging nod, an excited scream, or a hug doesn’t cost anything; but can significantly improve your relationship. As the name suggests, the book skillfully discusses how powerful an “I hear you” can be.
Recognizing Communication Gap and Lack of Validation in a Relationship
With such high paced technology and the ever-changing lifestyle of people, it’s not easy to validate all of the time which might slowly start eating away at the relationship. When there’s a lack of communication, there’s an increased chance of verbal abuse.
The term “verbal abuse” itself sounds so heavy that you’re sure you’ve never done it, and that it probably only happens in ugly fights when a party resorts to name-calling, shouting, and threatening to harm their partner in any other way.
Verbal abuse isn’t just the loud screaming and offensive slurs one hurls toward their partner. It could start in the smallest form – such as subtle insults that harm the self-esteem of their partner, or even failing to validate. Abuse starts slow, but it grows into a monster if it’s left unnoticed.
Maybe, unintentionally even, you’ve done something that falls under the category of “subtle verbal abuse.” The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Expanded Third Edition: How to recognize it and how to respond by Patricia Evans delivers a handful of real but sad situations where verbal abuse was involved, and the harms it did to the relationship, as well as the two individuals involved.
Maybe you turned down your partner when they were really enthusiastic about something or didn’t bother to be a soundboard and validate their problems are real when they were clearly suffering and instead said something rude; sadly, these are signs that you might be verbally abusing your partner. The author deals with the abusers with a strict hand – directing you on how to recognize the early signs of abuse along with tackling them.
The book draws focus on the rising concern caused by increasing verbal abuse and the detrimental effects it can have on a relationship. Don’t fret! It also talks about how to mitigate these effects and be a more caring, sensitive, and supportive partner.
The Two Books Combining to Help You Process Your Partner’s Emotions Better
I Hear You is descriptive, yet sensible enough to know that your partner’s emotions can’t be limited to some pages. The point of this book is to make you realize that when there is an opportunity to make your loved one feel validated, you must take it.
We all deserve support and a sympathetic ear on our worst days, and your partner will expect that of you. When your partner is feeling under the weather, validate their feelings. Make them realize that it’s absolutely okay to feel upset about something, that you understand where they’re coming back, and without being judgmental, simply give them your support.
Pair that up with The Verbally Abusive Relationship. You will have a clear understanding of the three types of emotional reflexes you can exhibit – sympathetic and willing to help, neutral and mellow, and cold and insensitive. Sometimes, the signs of abuse are so clear and striking, but people refuse to accept it. That’s because they’re not acquainted with this term.
You might think to shut down your partner when they were talking about their favorite kind of flower is somewhat funny and not much of a big deal, but you are low-key stepping onto the first stair of verbal abuse. Like we stated earlier, even though it can happen subconsciously, it’s wrong, and one must have a strong emotional quotient that equips them to give their partner strength in stressful times.
In the end, you’re left asking one simple question – if it’s so easy, why doesn’t everyone practice it? It’s because people don’t know about the extraordinary impact it has on a relationship. You aren’t in your partner’s shoes; you don’t have to solve their problem for them as they’re fully capable of doing it on their own. What you can do is – provide a safe environment for them to express their feelings, feel validated, and potentially make their day better. It’s as simple as that!