How You Can Respect Your SO’s Alone Time In 5 Different Ways8 min read
When in a relationship, giving an effort to establish time alone for your significant other based on love and trust may be hard, but it is worth it. There are couples who can’t imagine doing anything separately even if it’s getting a foot massage together or sharing the bathroom. Then again, there are couples who spend days without talking to each other and yet call themselves lovers. This doesn’t necessarily mean that these can’t be the same couple.
When you are new in love, all you can think about is spending as much time as you can together and tearing each other’s clothes off. This creates intimacy and lets you get to know as much about each other as you can. This love fluttering in the air doesn’t stay the same over years or even after weeks. That is when you prefer having this cave where you can carry on errands or watch a movie, just by yourself.
Although you may like being with your significant other every time you go out, your partner might find you clingy and can start lying to you just to be alone. If your partner finds you considerate and has confronted you about this, you should be happy that they are comfortable enough with you that they can trust and be open to you.
Instead of perceiving your situation as a leaking bucket or start thinking there is something wrong with you, you have to realize that this is perfectly normal. The faster you start accepting this and start respecting your partner’s alone time, the happier will you two be.
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The Slumflower’s guide teaches you to make the best of your days all by yourself. Chidera Eggerue explains how to understand your inner self and empower yourself instead of focusing on how the world wants you. You have the courage to create healthy relationships and cut off toxicity when necessary.
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How You Can Respect Your Partner’s Alone Time
It is natural for people to want to do things by themselves. They may have hobbies or have their own groups who they end up consuming their weekends. Moreover, both of you may have passions that can easily take up hours of your lives.
Your significant other can however be more absorbed where they zone out completely without realizing that they haven’t talked to you for hours. Cherishing whatever time you have for each other can make you stronger as a couple.
The best part, there is no scope of resenting each other because you have given each other the chance to be your best selves.
There are also other perks to appreciating each other’s personal space. If you ever broke up, then you would be more relaxed when needing to hang out without stressing your friends to choose sides. Moreover, you wouldn’t need each other to be happy.
What Happens If You Don’t Respect Your Partner’s Alone Time?
What happens when two people do not receive mutual respect from each other? They have an unsteady relationship and later decide that they were not each other’s type in the first place. This has led to failed friendships as well as failed marriages. Any relationship is merely based on two troubled people who open up themselves in their intimate comfort zone.
If you are the one stirring up your anxieties in this zone, then if it is natural for the other to back out. They might try to keep you happy for the sake of the relationship, but soon they will lash out, treat you terribly or just back out.
Just because they just called it day as soon as they could and didn’t have the courage to stop you from interfering. Building a relationship with a foundation that has no trust, respect, or comfort leads to nothing but failure.
How to Respect SO’s Alone Time
Wanting alone time is not something wrong and absolutely nothing to panic about. Instead of considering their personal space as the devil’s chambers and spreading your hands and legs all over the place to save your relationship, there are other ways to establish a healthy liaison. The most important of all – Respect. Below are some ways that will show you how to respect their alone time and remind them that you are with them.
1. Be Self-sufficient
Even if you try to remain neutral regarding their interests and create an independent reasoning, it is natural to default to old patterns for the sake of safety. Your dependency may be destroying their freedom and suffocating them. Remember that being sufficient with yourself is healthy.
Try performing tasks without needing your partner. Figure how you can involve other people such as friends, family or hired help in assisting you in running personal errands or for accompanying you in some entertainment. The idea of a healthy interdependence is the perfect balance between depending on your partner and being self-sufficient is the key to building respect.
2. Have Courage
It is not unnatural to feel neglected or fearful when facing a wavering attitude from your partner. You may be triggered consciously or unconsciously when your partner is making plans without you or is investing more of his time in his work or hobbies without fitting you in.
Although you will be worried about your relationship, have the courage to respond to decisions respectfully while being firm and understanding. Let them know how you feel about their isolated bubble. Even they are trying to make you a part of their lives.
3. Avoid Blaming
You will have expectations since you are in a relationship. There will be multiple times when they plan getaways with their friends or remain isolated for days and completely forget about you. The last thing you would like to get before a presentation is a text reading, “Why are you avoiding me?” They’re not!
It is just how they are. They were just too busy working or having their own “me time” that they forgot about the sense of time. Instead of blaming or shaming them or bringing up the topic of their old toxic patterns, reword your conversations positively and avoid questions that will create an unnecessary bad day.
4. Know What You Want
You are likely to discuss with your partner to come to a mutual understanding about how you feel when they do certain tasks alone. Before your reasoning, try to clear out what you have to say.
Reflect on how you are willing to compromise and how they could support you by staying away. The more clarity your partner finds in you, the better they will understand and appreciate your arguments. Be specific and provide examples of how things can be done better. This can be favorable to both you and your significant other.
5. Rearrange Your Social Calendar
Your entire schedule does not need to revolve around your partner. You will definitely not want someone who is busy with their phones while having an intimate dinner with your friends. Brunch doesn’t necessarily have to be with your spouse and parties don’t always mean dragging your partner out of bed and dressing up.
Invite your friends to occasions and tag along even if it’s for a game of cards. The more free your social calendar is from your partner, the better chances you have of planning something special and getting prepared for a foolproof day. Create an intimate day where you open that expensive bottle of wine and celebrate just the two of you.
Relationships are areas where you forget to be busy with yourself. You stop nurturing your own affairs and somehow put in time and energy to support theirs. Remember to always put yourself first and relax.