Financial Mistakes: The 5 greatest decisions by Table Talk Thursday contributors6 min read
This #TableTalkThursday event was held on the 14th of November 2019 and was co-hosted by Fierce Financial Services
We asked our community: So, how can we learn from our past financial decisions? How can we accept our partner’s past financial mistakes and move on?
Coaches and therapists: How do you help your clients move on from financial mistakes they have made in the past, and forgive themselves and those around them?
It’s normal when looking back and trying to correct the habits of the past, to feel a sense of regret and to have your self-confidence take a hit. But, how do we prevent causing emotional damage like depression and anxiety in this process?
The ability to have grace in your decisions with yourself about your financial past is probably one the most difficult things to learn. Thoughts about what you could have done when you did have the finances to do it, how much you could have saved had you thought of it 10 years ago, where would you be now? These are all the thoughts that flicker through our minds on occasion. But how do we move past those thoughts? How did others do it?
Too many people are black and blue but not from others emotional punches, from our own. At a Table Talk Thursday event we asked the community to share their experiences, so that we and so many others could learn from them. Here’s what some had to say:
Good morning, what a wonderful topic for today’s discussion. We can accept mistakes from our past by first accepting our pasts as lessons learned. We can use these lessons and help our significant others in transparent conversations about lessons learned.@fiercefinancialservices
Acceptance seems to be one of the first steps on the road to grace. We make mistakes because we need to learn something from them – yes sometimes they are expensive lessons, but they are valuable lessons that we can pass on to generations and to those around us. Using these incredibly hard lessons that we learned for a good purpose may give us a purpose and help us feel like they were not made in vain.
Take The Positive Out of Your Experiences
I try to help my clients focus on the positives that may result out of past bad experiences/mistakes. Like @fiercefinancialservices said, use lessons learned from past mistakes to course correct for reaching future goals. Also, in coaching couples, I try to get both partners to see their situation from the other’s perspective, to try to increase understanding and grace. Like @carreirafinance also said, getting my clients to forgive themselves and let go of past mistakes and regrets often involves digging deep to get to the root problem. But we have to focus on future goals and on what is in our control – of which the past is definitely not.@abacusssolutionsfinancialcoach
Making peace with past financial mistakes, is creating a plan and strategy to attack debt. One of the other key factors is forgiving yourself and moving forward. It’s like getting past a bad relationship. Understanding that there needs to be time to heal and a process to get back on your feet and figuring out the, “ Whats Next.”@15and30
Forgiving yourself is a necessity and there is always a deeper reason as to why you are stuck on that particular situation. Keep asking yourself why are you so upset about it, what specifically bothers you about it? Then move onto what you learnt from it? Look at the positive side of it – would you be the person you are today if you hadn’t have gone through it? Would you be learning this much about finance if you hadn’t gone through that?
We cannot control the past, we can only control ourselves and how we respond to things, what we learn from them and what our corrective actions will be.
Practice Gratitude and Compassion
This is a great topic. I always practice gratitude for the place I’m at and situation I’m in. It’s only by acknowledging both what has worked and what hasn’t that I can move forward. I also practice compassion and focus my energy on what will help me grow and move me in the right direction. This is also how I help others in their financial journey💗@eirin.holmeide
Having an attitude for gratitude is certainly one of the best practices to shift our mind set. It comes highly recommended that when you fall into that space of shaming yourself over past mistakes, that you make a list of what you’re grateful for. Think of what this taught you and how grateful you are for that happening and then make a list. Keep the list and put it up somewhere so that if you ever feel that way again, you can go back to it.
We are often quick to have compassion and grace with others all the while forgetting that we need to fill up our own cups as well. Remember that you couldn’t have known what you know now, if you didn’t persevere through your mistakes and learn it. Praise yourself for your successes and focus on your strengths and your positive qualities.
Forgiveness is so strong. Allow them to forgive themselves. Forgive others. Once you can forgive. Then you can accept where you are. Once you’ve accepted it. Then you can make a plan that works 🙌❤️💯@Adam_Glinsky
Everything has a process like grief, we cannot skip a stage. When you have moved through that process of acceptance, then make that plan that will lead you to your best financial life. Set those goals that you wanted to set and break it down into steps for yourself to make it more achievable.
View Yourself With Love
Hypnotherapy has proven to be a BIG help in my practice for undoing negative mind patterns and helping people view themselves with love and forgiveness! ❤️@guided_choices
If you just can’t seem to move past mistakes that you made in your financial life remember that there are trained professionals that are there to help you through it. You could even turn to a friend, or your significant other for a fresh perspective on the situation. A problem shared is a problem halved. We don’t have to carry all these burdens on our own.
We all walk a unique financial journey, remember that our finances aren’t just composed of math and numbers strung together – how we feel about money and our core beliefs play an imperative role too. The process of becoming financially free is learning how to budget, invest and live within your means, as well as addressing past financial problems and negative feelings about money. We need to work on our mind set just as hard as we need to learn how to budget and invest. Have grace with yourself and you will start to grow through the things that you once felt shame about.
If you enjoyed this discussion be sure to join in every #TableTalkThursday at 9 – 10am PST on our Instagram for more insightful discussions! Sharing your experiences, as you can see, can help others learn from your experiences too.
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