Insecurities: 4 Big Ways To Overcome Your SO’s6 min read
Insecurities sometimes get the best of us and before you know it, it can ruin your healthy relationship and the stability between you and your partner. If you realize that your partner is falling victim to their insecurities, it falls upon you to take a step ahead; remember the promise to stick through thick and thin?
- A Change of Affection: A Gay Man’s Incredible Story of Redemption by Becket Cook
- Starved for Affection by Dr. Randy Carlson
Scheduled affection can bring a massive shift in the insecurity scale in your partner. We need love and affection to function as much as we need food and rest, and sometimes something as simple as a hug can save our lives!
Why Scheduled Affection is Important
Why make a fuss about scheduled affection and why do we need it, you might ask? The need for scheduled affection arises
because it helps us feel more secure in the relationship and keeps the fire alive and burning. It is a lot like a traditional glue that will hold your relationship together.
Reviving the Lost Spark
The early stages of a relationship you may feel a magical, floating feeling like you’re on cloud 9, but as it progresses things become more grounded and realistic. The butterflies in your stomach when time passes by, inevitably, settle down and grow comfortable. The person who made you feel thrilled, elated, and gratified upon sight is the same person who snores next to you, and you might not feel the urgency to cover your blemishes with makeup anymore – isn’t this comfort worth longing for?
If you look at your significant other and feel grateful to have them in your life, it wouldn’t hurt to physically express the affection – be it a gentle kiss on the forehead or a hug from the back; let your partner know that you appreciate them. Scheduled affection can eliminate those insecurities and bring your relationship back on course.
Reaffirm Your Love to Reassure Your Partner
While it is only natural that every relationship will go through peaks and valleys, if you don’t invest in physical affection the dry spell may never pass and your relationship may end up going beyond repair. Scheduled affection works as the bridge between insecurities and relationship quality, and you have to actively put in the best effort and affection while crossing that bridge. Maybe all your partner needs is a gentle touch and some reassurance. So, even if it does not come naturally, recall what drew you close to your partner in the first place and reaffirm your love.
Create a Sense of Harmony
Physical affection which show your emotions has the potential to solidify your compatibility with your significant other. Through the consistent exchange of affection, you can be in sync with your partner on an emotional level while fulfilling their own need for love and affection. It lowers your significant other’s insecurities and fits you in the foundation of your relationship.
Reduce Stress Hormone
It is a fact backed up by multilevel scientific research that physical intimacy can significantly reduce stress hormones, helps us release oxytocin and bring ease of mind. When we are cuddled by a loved one, our blood pressure, insecurities, and heart rates go down, and we enter a state of relaxation. Therefore, it has a remarkable impact on reducing insecurities in your significant other and brings happiness in your relationship. Romantic partners are often more satisfied when there is a constant exchange of affection between them.
How to Show Affection
Now that you know the importance of scheduled affection to lower your significant other’s insecurities, how do you express it? Well, the answer can be subjective. How you choose to express may depend on several factors including the quality of your relationship, where you live, and so on. However, there are universal standards of affection that go beyond cultural or geographical boundaries.
Your focus, though, should be the insecurities you want to address. Pay attention to your significant other and focus on what makes them happy; personalize your affection for them. It can be something as simple as giving them a hug and kiss or holding their hands in a crowded place.
Light verbal affection can lower insecurities too. Occasional compliments, words of encouragement, and verbal reaffirmation of your love can illustrate affection. You can also buy them flowers or surprise them with a dinner date. The whole idea is to nurture and protect one another, as well as your relationship.
Two Must-Read Books
To further help you on your journey of understanding the significance of scheduled affection and insecurities, we suggest you give these books a read:
Psychologist and radio host Dr. Randy Carlson takes an interesting approach to romantic relationships in his book Starved for Affection. He explores the dynamics of the marital bond and does a tremendous job of portraying why the feeling of love alone without the demonstration might not be enough. If you ever find yourself wondering why and how couples need to work on affection to nurture a healthy relationship, Starved for Affection has answers for you. It is an easy read packed with practical and applicable information. If you are willing to love your significant other a little bit harder, then we suggest you read this book.
In A Change of Affection, author Becket Cook shares his testimony as a successful Hollywood set designed whose identity was deeply rooted in his homosexuality and lived a very progressive life in Los Angeles. In a dramatic turn of events, Cook encountered Christ’s holiness and mercy to realize that he could no longer live a life that contradicts God’s design.
He was truly touched and transformed by the power of the gospel. As he pursues Christianity, his views on homosexuality become more and more informed; he addresses this complex and controversial issue and guides his readers through it. He uses the bible’s words to back up his. If you want to fully understand the complexities of love and affection in the light of religion, then we suggest you pick this book up. Because once you do, it will be very hard to put down.
Sometimes scheduled affection can make all the difference in your relationship. It enhances psychological as well as physiological functioning. The connection that is established due to constant sharing affection is absolutely priceless and it demonstrates our ability to nurture and protect our significant other. You will only understand how your affection will take effect on your partner’s life once you have taken the step forward and help them overcome their insecurities.